whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
