i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
