I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
