I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
