if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
