your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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