She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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