I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
