she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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