We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
