i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
