so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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