What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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