playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
