He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
