I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
