so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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