There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Operation Purity has been aborted
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
