I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
