I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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