I don't think brook has ever known best
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
