if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
