end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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