There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
