yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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