Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
