Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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