I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
