I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
