Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I believe in your delicious
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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