I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Of course I have a pirate flag
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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