I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
