awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
In America we eat man semen.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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