I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
