If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
