Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Are we still banned from the library?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
