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Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My ass is underappreciated
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
