My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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