I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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