Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
