I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
