Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
