So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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