I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
