so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
