Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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