sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
