Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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