it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
