Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It was confusing and full of hummus
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize