how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Found your dick twin last night
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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