if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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