phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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