What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
