His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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